Trusting Love is Trusting Yourself

A few months ago my wife and I had the great fortune to experience a ropesü-course. If you’re not familiar with what that is, it is a course set outdoors designed to push you up against your beliefs about your capabilities, assist you in meeting your fears head-on, and to reflect back to you how you live your life. From walking on cables, to leaping off of trees from twenty-five feet in the air(harnessed of course), to finding my way through the forest blindfolded, I got to see myself from a new perspective an d I became intimate with the power of trust.

One event is called the Trust Fall. While standing on a platform that is tied to a tree, I faced the tree trunk while six of my ropes-course “buddies” stood silently behind me, waiting for my command. The facilitator asked my intention for falling into the arms of my buddies. I replied, ” so that I may trust myself.” I placed my hands in my coat pocket, closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “Ready to fall!” I yelled, my voice echoing in the forest. As my stomach felt like it jumped into my throat, I fell into the arms of my friends. Both men and women caught me and supported me and carefully assisted me to my feet.

It was a remarkable day that ended eight hours later with thirty-four of us assisting each other over a twelve- foot wooden wall, trusting that together we could accomplish this feat in less than 20 minutes. Men and women weighing from 110 pounds to over 250 pounds were hoisted up and pulled over the wall by sheer physical determination. Finally the last man was left to scale the fortress with no one to boost him up, only four male buddies poised on the deck above, ready to grab him and pull him to victory. Attempt after attempt failed. We were running out of time. Finally after a change of personnel on the deck, the man successfully grabbed the wrists of another and the four on deck grunted and groaned as they brought this hero over the wall. We cheered and yelled as we all celebrated the unity and the trust we were feeling for each other and we did it in less than nineteen minutes.

Trust is either present or it’s not. I either trust myself or I don’t. I either trust you or I don’t. As with love, you can’t “sort of” trust someone. Either trust is there being expressed or the fear and doubt wins and stops you from taking action. To fall successfully into the arms of people you can’t see requires trust – both of oneself and of those catching you. Our success as a group scaling the wall was dependent upon each individual trusting their buddies’ abilities to lift them and pull them up and over the wall. A few individuals were unable to move through the fear and thus did not complete particular events. They got to see the immediate results when trust was not present.

Next time you find yourself feeling self-doubt or lack of trust for another ask yourself this important question, ” am I coming from my heart or am I seeing this situation from fear, my past, my disempowering stories I keep telling myself.” When you are “in love” trust naturally exists. When you feel empowered you naturally trust yourself to make good decisions. When you feel loved you naturally trust that you can send that love back.

If you’re ready to set a table for two again, look within yourself and see if you trust yourself to attract the perfect partner to you. Are you clear about who you are and where you are going? Are you clear about where you were responsible for the demise of the past relationship/s? If you are a parent, is your relationship with your children on solid ground now? These are all important areas of your life you get to feel good about if you are really ready to have a new life partner that will be all that you want him or her to be. If there is still emotional healing to be done, do it before you enter the dating world otherwise you’ll attract to you more of what you’ve experienced in the past because you are still the same person you were back then!

To not trust is exhausting. To trust is liberating but you have to prove to yourself that you trust yourself, then you will have the clarity, confidence and discernment as to whom will best serve your highest good and you in return will be that same loving, supportive individual for the new person who is out there waiting for you.

If you are ready for support, if you are ready to fall into the arms of someone you can trust, and begin the process of clearing a space within your heart for a new, empowering relationship, go within and ask your heart to guide you to that perfect support. It is there waiting for you. You get to step forward and take the action however because life loves a “made-up-mind

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